In the bleak midwinter

24 Jan

Bleak, but a corner has been turned.  I could feel it this morning after I walked the kids in to school.

Some mornings, that is the lowest point of my day.  The sky is still dark; the air, cold; I’m reminded of friends who have moved away I no longer see in my morning perambulations; this reminds me of friends left behind stateside; I know the day ahead is likely to be gray and gray again, then fully dark well before the kids are home again.  Grief rumbles. My bones ache, I turn weak, and it takes my all to keep walking when I want to crawl under a tree and stare comatose into the clouds.  This is the terrible admixture of loss, expat angst, and seasonal affective disorder.

But, hey!  Not today!  And, I realized as I found a slight spring in my step on the walk away from school today, not for at least a week now.  So congratulations to me, or to England, or to something.  I believe I’ve made it through the worst of another winter.

IMG_3618edHere’s another small snapshot from the church in Northleach.  A candle lit in the bleak midwinter for the memory of my grandmother.  Or for myself.  Or for you, should you need it.

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8 Responses to “In the bleak midwinter”

  1. Daily Presents/Cadigan Creative January 24, 2014 at 3:53 pm #

    You know, it’s OK to lay under a tree and look at the clouds sometimes, too 😉 I’m feeling the winter blues over here lately…these subarctic temps are a killer. But bluer (warmer) skies are ahead I am sure…thanks for the peek. Love.

  2. Tabatha January 24, 2014 at 8:31 pm #

    You take wonderful photos. I came here from “There’s No Such Thing as a Godforsaken Town” and scrolled down a bit, enjoying your photography.

    • Monique February 6, 2014 at 10:37 am #

      Hello and welcome! I appear to be in winter hibernation mode, but things will pick up as the sun shines! Ruth’s blog is wonderful, glad you found your way here.

  3. aubreyepp January 24, 2014 at 11:34 pm #

    I walked home from school drop-off this morning singing “Here Comes the Sun.” And yesterday I texted my mom at 5:00pm reporting that there was still LIGHT in the sky! (She was here over Christmas and deplored every day that it was dark by 4:00pm.)

    Little darlin, it’s been a long, cold, lonely winter… Only an Englishman could come up with lyrics like that, my friend. Sun, sun, sun, here it comes. So glad that you’re beginning to feel that it’s all right!

    • Monique February 6, 2014 at 10:38 am #

      I’m thinking “I will survive” is more my theme music for this winter. Ha! I want to high-five the sunshine every time it peeks out!

  4. mamamilkandme February 20, 2014 at 2:02 pm #

    I totally relate Monique! Her in the northeast US it has been gray and snowy and cold like it has not been in years! I am inspired by the lilt in your steps!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The Wind Through the Keyhole | Crumpets in Camelot - March 24, 2014

    […] has passed.  I can feel it.  I’ve begun my summer sleep cycle of waking before dawn — and dawn comes earlier every […]

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