And yes, if I do start a band, that will be our name.
BBC Radio One is appalling. It is horrible. British radio makes me want to rip my arteries out from inside my own body and use them to hang myself.
Phew. I feel better now that I’ve said that.
I’m not saying British music is appalling — far from it. I’ve heard some amazing new music and artists since we’ve moved, and my mp3 player has been forever enriched. But British radio? If you honestly tell me you like it, I will honestly lock you in a room with a radio stuck on BBC Radio One for 6 months, and if you can speak in coherent sentences when you come out I will still say British radio is appalling. But I will give you a pumpkin muffin.
Why do I hate it? There is no spontaneity. BBC Radio One is a massive monopoly, and someone — or more likely, some horrible committee — gets paid off or socially engineered into telling the public what is good and what will be a hit. The hosts promote their ‘favorite’ new songs in ways which defy credibility. The same 15 songs are played on all shows all day long. BBC One radio hosts have ‘special guests’ — who are the hosts of other BBC One radio shows. This is not special. And why do the British like covers so much? Why is a terrible cover of “Hero” so popular, when you could listen to Mariah Carey blow it out for real? If I hear Carly Rae Jepsen again, I will destroy the earth. And I like that song. If Skrillex is forced into my ears one more time I will destroy all time and space.
It’s gotten bad, people.
I woke up this morning and decided there’s no more point in pretending I’m being a good little acculturalist. Screw British radio. I’m getting myself a KROQ feed and I’m not looking back.
Here, have some cake.