Radio screed

14 May

And yes, if I do start a band, that will be our name.

BBC Radio One is appalling.  It is horrible.  British radio makes me want to rip my arteries out from inside my own body and use them to hang myself.

Phew.  I feel better now that I’ve said that.

I’m not saying British music is appalling — far from it.  I’ve heard some amazing new music and artists since we’ve moved, and my mp3 player has been forever enriched.  But British radio?  If you honestly tell me you like it, I will honestly lock you in a room with a radio stuck on BBC Radio One for 6 months, and if you can speak in coherent sentences when you come out I will still say British radio is appalling. But I will give you a pumpkin muffin.

Why do I hate it?  There is no spontaneity.  BBC Radio One is a massive monopoly, and someone — or more likely, some horrible committee — gets paid off or socially engineered into telling the public what is good and what will be a hit.  The hosts promote their ‘favorite’ new songs in ways which defy credibility.  The same 15 songs are played on all shows all day long.  BBC One radio hosts have ‘special guests’ — who are the hosts of other BBC One radio showsThis is not special.  And why do the British like covers so much?  Why is a terrible cover of “Hero” so popular, when you could listen to Mariah Carey blow it out for real? If I hear Carly Rae Jepsen again, I will destroy the earth. And I like that song.  If  Skrillex is forced into my ears one more time I will destroy all time and space.

It’s gotten bad, people.

I woke up this morning and decided there’s no more point in pretending I’m being a good little acculturalist.  Screw British radio.  I’m getting myself a KROQ feed and I’m not looking back.

Here, have some cake.

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9 Responses to “Radio screed”

  1. haitiruth May 14, 2012 at 12:19 pm #

    Well, I loved Radio 1 when I was a teenager, but that was (ahem) a while ago. It’s so great that the internet allows us to listen to the radio from other places.

    • Monique May 14, 2012 at 3:45 pm #

      =) What’s your favorite internet radio station?

  2. Sarah May 14, 2012 at 12:32 pm #

    Thank you!! When I come down in the morning and the husband has Radio One on, my first order of business is to cringe and then close his laptop. It kills me. I die a little. I usually have to put on an episode of This American Life to recover. I am a self-proclaimed popular music WHORE and even I can’t listen to British radio. I have heard a few good stations, but I can’t get them on my car stereo (US spec radios are DUMB – get with the times US), and one I heard didn’t have a stream online feature. I heart this post, but now I am a bit scared of you. lol!

    • Monique May 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm #

      Don’t be scared. I’m currently listening to KROQ morning radio, and slowly backing away from the BBCR1 ledge. 😉 Now I’ve got NPR and american music radio to get me through. I like listening to the accents and speech on british radio, but I am so tired of Fearne Cotton trying to tell me something clearly performed by a child on a fisher price piano is ‘amazing’

  3. Zazzy May 14, 2012 at 2:14 pm #

    And I thought Top 40 stations were bad! I get all of 2 stations that aren’t country in the car and they’re both pretty good. I will count my blessings.

    • Monique May 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm #

      Two decent stations?! An embarrassment of riches! lol

  4. satnavandcider May 14, 2012 at 2:46 pm #

    And how do you really feel, Monique? LOL. I found KROQ when I first moved to LA and loved it! I can still hear, “K. R. O. Quuuueeee, Rock of the 80’s.”

    I’ve never listened to BBC One radio, but because of your depth of revulsion I must now listen to BBC one radio. But for your children’s sake, please don’t listen anymore. Death by artery would not be pretty.

    • Monique May 14, 2012 at 3:57 pm #

      Ha ha, are you saying my taste in radio is slightly dated? Rock of the 80s indeed. The BBC radio one morning show (Chris Moyles) does make me laugh out loud sometimes — and that’s where I first heard the awesome Maverick Sabre — but it isn’t worth it. I need a break, for my sanity and arterial health. 😛

      • satnavandcider May 14, 2012 at 4:40 pm #

        I’m not saying your taste in radio is dated at all. I just haven’t listened to KROQ since I moved out of LA (except when passing through) and KROQ moved on to Rock of the 90s…

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