I know I should be writing about our fabulous early term-break trip to LEGOLAND Windsor, and tying up the loose ends of previous days out to get ready for our upcoming excursions. But I can’t stop thinking about trousers.
The lack of them, more precisely. I’ve tried to describe this trend but I don’t think my words can do it justice. Probably because I am too squeamish to use all the words necessary. Like “naked butt hanging out” and “that does not look like a good place to get frostbite” and “a thong does not count as underwear”.
On the way to school this morning, as we passed attentive parents and children in cute, tidy uniforms walking or skipping or scooting along to school, I kept seeing women who were not wearing trousers. Tops, yes. Tights, yes. Shoes, yes. Something covering up the whole posterior area, much less the, um, anterior? Nothing. Like this, but with — I kid you not — a shorter jacket:
Keep in mind, this is at 8am on a Monday morning during the school run, not after hours outside a club. And not celebrities acting out their personalities on the world (as found in “Tights aren’t Pants = Fashion No No“, or “wearing tights as pants“), but regular people — teens, college students, young professionals, mothers. Oh. My.
As long ago as 2010 the fashion police made a ruling: Leggins are not pants, and tights are not leggings. There is even a website devoted to destroying this trend — you can read their manifesto.
I wouldn’t go so far as to call for the destruction of a trend. Walk around naked if you like. Whatever. (But I am getting some dark tinted sunglasses for summer, I promise you.) However, coming to England, expecting to find Mary Poppins or at least graceful icons like Duchess Kate, and instead finding bare bottoms in see-through tights …. this is going to take some getting used to.